paraethesia (nymphette) wrote in stanislavskian,
paraethesia
nymphette
stanislavskian

  • Music:

Today's the day, when dreaming ends..........

Today I had my last audition............ever.
It was at the Blackhorse (little theatre) at 1pm. I even got dressed up for the audition. It's called "The Early Girl" and its set in a brothel in Cali.
So I looked like a "Working Girl" but from the 80's... Total FUN!!
Harry worked all of us very hard...I thought it was the auddy for the young girls but nah... Harry and Cheryl (his Wife and Producer) had to balance this auddy from the next one in a month. SO..I have to wait a month to hear if I got it or not. Does it matter......yeah... deep down it strips at my core being. And my mother just laughs....I hope to forget my most deepsts dreams at 52 y/o too hopefully before.
I bought a bottle of champagne yesterday to celebrate alone. - I never got out to the patio like I said in my own lj...I finished the bottle. Might go finish the redwine open down stairs. Obviously I'm in tottenham... otherwise I'd curl up in the fetal position with Ezra proctecting me...loving me like in his nature he knows best how to do..... surrounding me like the dear angel he is.... His child-like wonder I hope never ends...I'm want, I'm holding on too hard to it... almost jealous of it. But I do loveove you baby! I need you most tonight.

I don't like country music, but somehow I can't help but sing SO loud Broken Wing by Martina McBride.....


FUCK! I don't even know if I got a part or not - this just feels worse than leaving theatre school b/c of my ex psycho, to protect my life....
Yeah. Its a pretty low evening. I don't think I'll forget it.
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